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Metal Detecting and Why the Aliens Have Not Landed

19 Dec

The other day, during a discussion about UFOs (yes, when I am around, that’s the kind of thing we talk about) someone said “Oh yeah? Well, if the aliens are real why haven’t they landed?”. My immediate answer of course, was that they HAD landed and they land often and that when they land, many times there are lots of credible witnesses but that this kind of information does not usually make it to the nightly news.
This didn’t seem to satisfy anyone and they all said something about my choice of news sources –mainly from the Internet…but that’s neither here nor there.

Later, while I was out detecting, a much better answer came to me and it is very possible that this is THE ANSWER as to why the aliens have not landed on the White House lawn.
So I was cutting a plug to retrieve the goodies therein when out with the dirt came a lovely, fat, wriggling worm. You know, this; it happens all the time. The worm is in the ground living its worm life and dreaming its worm dreams when bam! a terrifying experience befalls the poor unsuspecting creature. A thing so horrible, so out of its tiny worm existence that the worm doesn’t even have the vocabulary to explain it to its friends and family. “Really! It happened! The sky opened and I was taken and I could see a different sky and a giant thing that tossed me around like a rag doll!”.

The worm and I don’t share a common anything and there is no way that the worm could ever understand what I was doing. How can I begin to explain to a worm (given that I could talk to it!) about silver coins or gold rings? How about concepts such as time and greed and curiosity? I am not ever going to land in the worm king’s palace lawn. It’s not my agenda. My agenda is as alien to the worm as, well, the aliens’ agenda is alien to me.

So there it is. We are the worms in the lawn and for all we know, the aliens are metal detecting for intergalactic Mercury dimes.

I think it explains everything!

Thank you for looking!

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One Response to “Metal Detecting and Why the Aliens Have Not Landed”

  1. Rosie December 21, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    I like it!

    I always feed bad when I dig up the worms. I try to carefully place them aside and then carefully put them back in the hole, but sometimes I end up cutting them in half. 😦 I just hope the aliens don’t cut me in half!

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